Let me tell you a short story: a person
The story of a depressed Bill.
Bill was constantly struggling with depression. He was neurotic for years. His depression made him anxious, selfish, and someone who was frequently annoyed over petty things.
Everyone pointed out Bill’s mistakes, and kept telling him to change. Deep inside, Bill himself was aware of his behavior, his mistakes. He acknowledged those negative points and was trying hard to get away from them, but guess what? He simply couldn’t.
One day, even his best buddy pointed out his mistakes and urged him to change. That was it. Bill was devastated and deeply hurt. He started feeling powerless and trapped. Very few people, in whose company Bill was a bit comfortable, were also fed up with his behavior now. He started drowning more into depression and eventually became someone who is very difficult to deal with.
His best buddy noticed this change and tried to analyze the root cause of the problem. One fine day, the buddy called him and told him “Bill, I want you to know that even with all your imperfections and peculiarities, I love you as you are!”
And the words were music to Bill’s ears. ” I love you as you are….”. This was a deal breaker for Bill. These sentences relaxed him. He became calm from inside, started feeling less anxious. He began exhibiting significant change in his behavior and conversations the following morning.
Bill needed someone to love him regardless of his peculiarities. Bill wanted people to accept him. Once he came to know that, there are people in this world who are going to love him, no matter what, he was mentally a different person. He learned that “people are resistant to change because they believe that whether they change or not, they will not be appreciated.” People need to hear that this world loves them and like them as they are!”
Dear Readers, there are many theories and prominent therapies to incite positive changes in other persons. Among all the therapies this is very simple yet effective and powerful therapy: ‘Appreciation Therapy’.
What are the basic needs of human life? Just Food, shelter and clothing? These are very much carnal and outer needs of human beings. Along with these things, what about the nourishment of the mind? What about the rational, psychological and spiritual needs?.
Nourishment of mind is an important part of life. Just like our stomach, our mind also craves for many things. Our mind also becomes hungry sometimes. And appreciations and unconditional love are the things which fuel these psychological hunger and cravings. Our mind is very eager to listen to those few positive words.
Once these compliments and encouraging remarks are fed, various feel-good hormones begin to flow and begin to work their magic.Once these compliments and words of encouragement are taken in, different feel-good hormones start to flow and do their magic.
When you want to make change in someone’s behavior, first, try to find out good things in that person. Try to like and accept the person with all of his positive and negative sides. Then after a few days see the change. See the feel-good hormones working their magic. See the proactive efforts from the person to adjust, change.Consider the person’s proactive efforts to adjust and change. After all, this is the real goal, right?
Ayurveda and Nourishment of Mind
Ayurveda, the science of life, has acknowledged and highlighted the needs and nourishment of mind, thousands of years back. In ancient scripture namely “Vagbhat Samhita” it is written in the Sanskrit language that
“Aatmvat Satatm Pashyet Api Keet Pipilakam” ( Vaghbhat Sutrasthan Chapter Dincharya). The meaning is that, Be always respectful to all living organisms. Love the entire world as you imagine yourself in others. Even love and respect animals and insects. Try to feel the emotions and needs of others.
To end this post with, I would like to highlight few very simple points that we can follow in our day to day life and routine:
- Always respect other people.
- Respect all opinions of other people, even if you disagree with them.
- Always try to find out good qualities in other people. Always. This will also do wonders for your mind and mental health.
- Do not give frequent suggestions to make a change in another person.
- Try to make others feel that you love them and like them as they are! And genuinely love them as they are.
- Remember action and reactions are equal and opposite. Let your actions be full of love, kindness and empathy and you will get the same reactions.
- Our goal is to nourish others with positive feelings. Gradually we may see some change in another person.
- Remember, people do not want lectures, constant suggestions or unwanted advice. Everyone just wants to be loved and respected as they are.
- Try to learn and understand Ayurveda philosophy of loving all mankind. Try to learn and understand the Vedic philosophy of mind and the actual meaning of love.
- Want to make some positive changes in others? Accept them whole-heartedly. Find their positives, highlight those positives and make them know that you love and respect them for these positives.
Trust me, your life will have a different meaning, purpose when you live it with this light of acceptance, love and respect. Peace.
